16 replies to this topic

[Thugren]

For those of you who know me, i am a writer making my own video game(sanctuary)

 

But im going to be writing a running episodic creepypasta story called smile, 

 

ALot of good shit

 

Cults, rouge cops...

 

Anyone interested youre all welcome to take part

 

Dont Forget TO sMile

 

[J NOSK36]

i volunteer!!!

[CruciasNZ]

Moving to correct sub-forum

 

Sounds interesting Tug. I'm not into RP that much but if you need my help ask. Remember you can run this through a blog as well as forums, be a bit more prestigious. 

[Thugren]

Not so much a rp, but if you all like it enough i can let you all into the world of it, think of it like a story 

[Armoured Priest]

I thought it was just going to be a story? >.>?

[Emporer469]

I thought it was just going to be a story? >.>?

Priest we've been over this like how many times already

[Armoured Priest]

LIke once...

[Fuzzy]

I'm intrigued by this, I'll definitely check it out.

[An_A10_Pilot]

Count me in!

[Thugren]

Attention-This is To simulate an sv precinct, i will not be  showing rape in any way, its just a literary device to set the mood.

 

 

 

Youve been warned

 

 

 

 

My name is Aiden Thompson...Or it was before all this started. I was a cop working in La Svu .

 

Now ive seen some shit in my day. Murders, Rape, Triple suicides.

 

But nothing could prepare me for what i was being lead into...

 

Smile

It all happened, A year ago...

 

 

I was Just returning from the hospital. My wife had come home after birthing my twins Aaron and Jaden, And before i could even sit at my desk a pile of papers was dropped onto my lap.

 

 

 

"Welcome back Aiden."

 

 

 

The captain, a paunchy balding man with graying hair and tired eyes laughed as the papers landed with a heavy thump.

 

 

 

"I hate to Put this on you, but this case needs my best.'

 

 

 

I took the papers off the table and thumbed through it. Seemed like the typical case. Girl was raped, mutilated, left for dead in an abandoned warehouse, The only hard evidence we had was a knife left in her chest and the word SMILE carved into her cheeks.

 

 

 

"I just got back from leave and this is what you throw at me cap? A Rape/murder? you don't love me anymore?"

 

 

 

i laughed, folding my arms across my chest as the captains face dropped.

 

 

 

"I want the case closed Aiden...With Bennett out of town your my only ace. Could you please drop the sarcasm and go down to The coroner and get his report?"

 

I sighed and stood, grabbing my coat off my seat.

 

The captain shook his head and a younger man came up. I didnt like him from the door. Some punk ass rookie that transferred in from intake. He was short, muscular and wore a smug look on his face that would make his mother proud.

 

 

 

"The Names Jason Tanner...Ill be your part.."

I tossed him the files cutting him off mid-sentence as i walked past.

 

"You're meat, work with me for more than two weeks, than ill care about your name, until than your spare parts."

 

 

 

Jason grimaced at the slight, following close behind.

 

 

 

"You know...I don't have to take your shit..."

 

"You'll take it and like it .

 

 

(Coroner)

 

The corner droned off for what seemed like hours. It was raining, and the lightning gave the mourge an ominous glow.

What i gathered without needing to hear her speak.

·         Party girl, played fast and loose in a seedy part of town

 

·         Murderer has pretty high skill with a knife, probably a chef or something else like it

 

·         The knife Was embedded so deep into the sternum that the tip pierced her heart and she bled out.

 

·         Rapists fingerprints and dna were not in the system.

 

·         The girls name was Maddy Cartright...Dancer at swingers Gentleman’s club .

 

 

 

Ignoring my partner’s clodding attempts at detective work i waved the corners story off, stopping her mid-sentence.

 

"Anything else you can give me?"

 

 

 

The coroner, an aging 50 year old woman with deep set eyes and wispy hair reached into a bag and pulled out what looked like a necklace.

 

 

"This was found on the body. "

 

 

 

He opened the bag an placed the necklace in my hands.

 

 

 

The metal was cold and bloodstained But a single Blood soaked smiley face stared up in the light.

 

 

 

"The girl was clutching this....It doesn't match anything we've seen before...You ever seen it before?"

 

 

 

i shook my head and sighed. A Lot of kids nowadays kept little trinkets like this on them, it was probably a fashion statement . I was about to put it into the bag when a loud gunshot ripped through the air.

 

“The fuck!”

 

Redshirt yelped, drawing his sidearm and moving to look out the door.

“What the fuck happened?!”

 

Instinct took over, I moved to the door and put my hand to it,. A horrible calamity could be heard outside but I calmly put my hand to the door and moved into the hall.

 

I remember hearing shouting, two people were yelling back and forth, and the smell of blood filled the air. As I came upstairs into the precinct could see all the Cops standing around something, weapons drawn and tense.

 

“I want all the information you have on that last murder commissioner…”

 

A silky , velvet smooth voice cooed from behind the wall of men.

 

“*we cannot do that sir…Please put the man down and we can talk this out like gentleman. I pushed myself through the mass of men until I could see the back of the commissioner, and then I saw it. Standing in the center of the room , trained on by every officer , was a man holding a homeless man by the throat. The man looked dreamy and dazed, occasionally laughing to himself as my eyes trained on the target and my stomach wretched.

 

The Hostage takes face was ravaged. The top hjalf of his face was bone white, like a skull cap bleached by the sun, but where his upper skull and lower jaw met was a ragged, viciously cut gash . The meat of his cheeks was flawed away to reveal yellowed cracked teeth, and the disturbing visage of a jesters smile.

“Just put the man down and we will get you medical attention…..”

 

The commissioner said again, taking a step closer as he tried to calm down the sitation.

 

“You don’t get it do you gramps..”

 

The figure hissed, holding a wickedly serrated drywall saw to the homeless man’s throat.

 

“That isn’t the game we are playing…..You give me the information I want and no one gets hurt…or else this is going to become a bloodbath.”

 

 

The commissioner’s eyes narrowed. “A bloodbath…What does that case have anything to do with you?”

 

The figure with the evil carved grin laughed, leaning against the glass of the window to reassure himself.

 

“You don’t cross smile…..You don’t do it…He went too far…We don’t do that…There will be blood old man.. And if you want to avoid it….Give me any and all information you found on that girl!”

 

The air was thick with sweat, every cop in the room had their sights trained on the sick fuck with the demon smile. , I moved to the back of the crowd and slowly circled to the windows. Thank god the window cleaning crew had left the scaffolding up, so while the commissioner tried to talk down the perp I opened the window and climbed onto the flimsy steel skeleton.

 

Each movement felt like a death sentence, I crawled across the flimsy two ply over to the window there the perpetrator held his hostage and suddenly stiffened. The man let out a horrific laugh and yanked the man’s face sideways.

 

“LETS IMMORTALIZE THIS MOMENT!”

 

He shouted, bringing the dry saw to the mans cheek and sawing downward in a jagged movement. Blood spurted, and in one single deafening sound, I watched as my brothers fired. Hundreds of shots filled the air, but the damn freak used the mans body to take the first salvo. In one fluid motion , he dropped the body, turned and leapt through the glass…..Right into me.

 

He collided into me with sickening force. His weight bore me over to the edge and his hand quickly found my throat as I slammed my fist repeatedly into His eviscerated face.

 

 

“Clever pig…”

 

He hissed venomously, bringing the knife up again. “LETS HEAR YOU SQUEAL!”

 

He brought the blade down in a whistling arc , burying the serrated blade deep into my forearm. Pain, white hot and flaming seared my senses as I let out a scream and brought my head forward out of reflex. Our skulls collided and the man staggered back, toppling over the railing and falling two flights straight down into the pavement with a sickening crack.

 

 

From there it was all a blur…. The medical examiner rushed to my side to remove the blade from my arm, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the sight below. The brains painted the sidewalk, but his eyes looked upward, a final chilling reminder of the days insanity…

I couldn’t pull my eyes away from the chilling spectacle…..All I could do …The only thing I could do is stare into those eyes and shake. This man was part of something, something bigger than one psycho, something bigger than one fucked up bastard getting his jollies off .

 

If I knew than what I know now , I would’ve walked away with my life still intact….But stupid pride kept me there…Stupid pride Kept me chasing Smile..

[Armoured Priest]

More please! 

[Thugren]

feel free to comment yall

[Fuzzy]

Dayum that's actually a really good read, the pacing is very well done, the story flows in a way that really sucks you in... You gotta give us more man! Pleeeeeeease!

[J NOSK36]

I would buy this in paperback it was so good , excellent read tug 

[Talos Valcoran]

It's awesome!

Edited by Talos Valcoran, 13 January 2014 - 02:26 AM.

[Emporer469]

I give this a Hippopotamus out 0f 5

[MetalHead666X]

Loved it.

 

How ever I do have one criticism. You could easily compact it into paragraphs and then have it less compact. I understand what your were trying to do with the speech and such, but it will read better.

 

I always loved a good horror, even more so detective novels. So this for me was lovely. And It seems you have left your self with enough options to carry on so please, indulge us with it. 

Edited by MetalHead666X, 13 January 2014 - 04:12 PM.